Highly Sensitive People
What does it mean to be highly sensitive? For those who identify as highly sensitive people (HSP)—and for those who are highly sensitive but unaware that such a phenomenon exists—it becomes clear that being sensitive is both a gift and a struggle.
Learning about this trait and its prevalence often transforms an individual’s understanding of their life experiences. It can be empowering and validating to finally have language for something they have always sensed about themselves. Reading about high sensitivity—much like engaging in therapy—can make explicit what has been implicit throughout a person’s life. This understanding not only allows individuals to view themselves through a new lens but also fosters recognition of similar traits in others. Many find themselves drawn to other HSPs and curious about their experiences.
Highly Sensitive People often demonstrate advantages such as an ability to perceive subtle changes or differences, creativity and passion, deep empathy, investment in social movements (such as social justice or environmental conservation), conscientiousness, risk aversion, thoughtful decision-making, and deep, meaningful connections to others and their environments.
According to Elaine Aron, HSPs are characterized by four defining features: depth of processing, over-arousability, emotional intensity, and sensory sensitivity. These qualities, however, come with challenges. HSPs are often described as having “thin skin.” They tend to be more affected by harmful environments in childhood, are deeply wounded by perceived rejection, and may struggle with overwhelming emotions, overstimulation, exhaustion, low stress thresholds, and low self-esteem. These challenges frequently lead HSPs to seek psychotherapy to gain support in managing these areas. Fortunately, these difficulties can be addressed with strategies such as mindfulness, meditation, emotional regulation techniques, learning to set boundaries in relationships, and creatively navigating work and life demands. A strong therapeutic relationship can enable individuals to live with high sensitivity and recognize the unique value it brings to their lives.
Therapists at Self and Other often focus on helping HSPs identify and appreciate the unique qualities and strengths that may not be immediately obvious to themselves or others. When working with HSPs, our therapists seek to uncover the power of a trait that is not well understood despite its prevalence in approximately 20% of the population.
Additionally, Self and Other therapists often explore HSP challenges from a cultural lens, reframing their struggles within broader social and cultural contexts. For example, in Western cultures traits like high sensitivity and introversion are undervalued, whereas other cultures may appreciate and celebrate these qualities. High sensitivity is not inherently flawed but often misunderstood or devalued in societies that emphasize confidence and extraversion. HSPs frequently internalize negative societal messages, believing they are “too shy,” “too sensitive,” or “too emotional.” These beliefs, often rooted in childhood experiences and reinforced by broader cultural norms, lead many to assume there is something wrong with them. In Western societies, attributes like confidence, self-assurance, and extraversion are prized because they facilitate visibility, social connection, and workplace advancement.
For HSPs to thrive, they must adapt to a world that does not fully understand or value their unique experiences and contributions. This begins with recognizing the value of their sensitivity and understanding how it sets them apart. Self and Other therapists can help with this journey, providing a supportive and validating relationship in which we can begin to make sense of these experiences and foster self-love and compassion. With the right therapeutic support, HSPs can move toward a deeper understanding of themselves including their strengths, their growing edges and the optimal conditions for growth.