The Relational Wave: Evidence for Post Traumatic Growth in Therapy

Time and again, research is showing us that the therapy relationship is equally if not more important than the particular intervention or treatment approach when it comes to therapeutic outcomes. It has also been shown that psychodynamic therapies have longer lasting positive effects. For many out there seeking therapy trying to find the right therapist for your needs is a really daunting task, it is important to know that the therapist’s empathy, responsiveness and willingness to collaborate will determine what the client gets out of the therapy relationship. This will help you choose the right fit.

One of the defining features of our approach at Self and Other is that we are committed to helping people better understand aspects of themselves that are not fully known, and since so much of our self concept, sense of security and identity are forged in relationships - we use the therapy relationship as the tool for self growth and discovery. With this in mind, it is vital that the therapist be able to provide the right conditions for a person to show up authentically and vulnerably - to begin to learn and make sense of where they are getting stuck or holding back, and to discover possibilities for new kinds of experiences that have previously been unimaginable.

Many people who show up to work with us can feel stuck in painful and familiar dynamics with co-workers, friends, partners and family members. These relationships bring out parts of themselves they do not know how to understand or change. Maybe something about the dynamics remind them of past relational traumas or difficulties and they feel themselves thrown back in the past. They may simultaneously be experiencing low self esteem related to ineffectiveness interpersonally and perceived lack of agency in their lives (the feeling as though “nothing I do will make a difference”). With the steady and committed presence of a therapist who is trained in deeper ways of listening, attuning and relating, the client-therapist relationship creates a space for repair, learning and growth in relationships within the self and interpersonally.

In recent decades, cognitive research findings have been able to map these transformations and show at a neuroscientific level how therapeutic action changes functioning in the brain. For example, that new experiences in relationships weaken old, maladaptive brain pathways while simultaneously creating and strengthening new ones. Furthermore, it has been found that a fixed memory is capable of becoming malleable again when exposed to the original stimulus whereby events in the present influence fixed memories of the past. This shows us that for people with a fragmented or troubled sense of self, and people who have been harmed by others - memories and new experiences can be transformed under optimal relational conditions and in the presence of a caring, empathic and curious Other. Who we are and whether we can enjoy fulfillment in relationships is not fixed by traumas of the past because new experiences can shape old ones.

In powerful therapeutic encounters, we do not just have the felt sense that something new is opening up emotionally; as our memories of lived experiences emerge, new ways of relating and understanding are literally reorganizing our neural networks and revising and updating emotional memories.